it's barely the morning and i have yet to sleep, so i'll consider it part of the same day.
today i woke up to a bad dream. basically i dreamt my ex was in the backseat of a car with me. i was uncomfortable. she leaned in real close and started touching me, rubbing against me and whispering in my ear. i can't remember what she said, but it was less than pleasant. i remember it was confusing and made me mad. it was not the best way to wake up.
there's so much going through my head right now and i have no one to talk to. i wish i could sort it all out on my own. sometimes you need to listen to someone else speak in order for what you're thinking to be coherent.
i'm worried. i'm worried about dying alone and unhappy. i'm worried about never finding my potential. i'm worrid about people despising me because i left, or because i'm not there to defend myself.
Mostly, I guess i'm worried because i don't know what my next move is. I play life to win, but right now i can't see what moves are available to me. so the clock keeps ticking and i keep thinking.
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Relax your eyes. Stare at the center of a traditional clock. Keep staring. Forget about the arms, the hands, the face, the clock... Just focus. Time will stand still as time does not matter. No need to place these prescribed mile markers upon yourself... Your next move shall be even more brilliant than the last. This is the funny thing about experience... people tend to learn from it. You are not alone in the world unless you make it so by ignoring those caring souls around you. You are loved. You have support. You have friends and confidants. Your choices are your own to make. Your heart your own to break. Chin up, chap... I'm here when you need me.
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